Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I checked into jail on foursquare
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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