My liver just broke up with me...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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