I'm drive I can fine osifer
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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