its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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