i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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