Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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