Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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