There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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