if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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