Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
