I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
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