I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
