honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
