Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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