the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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