I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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