wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
