the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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