I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
