I didn't shave. On purpose
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That accounts for only three of the penises
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
