Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
