Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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