The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
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Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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