I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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