He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I wish there were birth control emojis
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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