Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
