apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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