Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
