We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
