I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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