What a fucking waste of an outfit
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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