Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
