Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
