Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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