Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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