google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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