All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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