i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
