This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
