I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
