it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
