Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
