the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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