I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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