you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
