Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
