I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
