You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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