she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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