No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize