She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
