Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we're making bets on your personal life
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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