wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
