I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize