I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is this like a preordered booty call?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
