there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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