actually, I'm a sock model
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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