This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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