i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
