We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
