fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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